How do I ask and understand, rather than assuming and looking like I understand?
10 tips
Here are 10 tips on how to ask and understand rather than assuming and looking like you understand:
Focus on Asking:
Open-ended questions: Instead of yes/no questions, use prompts that encourage elaboration. "Can you tell me more about that?" or "What specifically do you mean by...?"
Clarifying questions: If something seems unclear, ask for clarification. "So, if I understand correctly..." or "Just to be sure, you're saying...?"
Active Listening:
Pay attention: Make eye contact, avoid distractions, and show nonverbal cues like nodding that you're engaged.
Summarize and paraphrase: Briefly restate what you heard to confirm understanding. "So it sounds like..." or "In other words..."
Listen for feelings: Not just what's said, but how it's said. "It seems like you might be frustrated about that."
Engaging the Conversation:
Ask follow-up questions: Build on what's been said to delve deeper. "Why do you think that?" or "How did that make you feel?"
Seek additional information: If needed, ask for specifics or examples to get a clearer picture.
Checking Assumptions:
Acknowledge your assumptions: "I might be misunderstanding, but it seems like..."
Offer multiple interpretations: Present different possibilities to see which aligns with their perspective.
General Tips:
Be patient: Understanding takes time. Don't rush the conversation.
Remember, effective communication is a two-way street. By following these tips, you'll show genuine interest, avoid misunderstandings, and build stronger connections.